The Nerd Song
(E.Frencham)

My mum told me
“Never fall in love with a musician,
All long haired ego & obsessive ambition.”
Daddy warned me those sailors
Hardly ever come home
Said “Girl, do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?”

And there were songs to save me
From drinkers & gambling men
Who spend all your money again & again & again
I tried to avoid all those dangerous guys
My confidence grew as I opened my eyes
I thought I’d choose well, I thought I was wise
But the 21st century,
Took me by surprise

So absurd, I’m in love with a nerd
But it hasn’t occurred to him that he needs me
What good is a killer smile that he hasn’t seen?
For he’s only got eyes for that computer screen

Can someone help me please?
I need some direction
No mortal girl can compete with this new world of cyber perfection
He don’t need a female just software & email
The world at his feet without leaving his seat.

I can’t get him to come to the movies or watch some band
Where he can walk me home and maybe even hold my hand
For he’s got Nintendo & DVD
& all the music he wants on mp3
A high speed connection
To give him…..satisfaction
& a Pentium IV
& he don’t need more
There’s nowhere to turn
& things are getting drastic
I’m insanely jealous of a lump of beige plastic

So absurd, I’m in love with a nerd
But it hasn’t occurred to him that he needs me
What good is a killer smile that he hasn’t seen?
For he’s only got eyes for that infernal machine