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Big Guitar

from You & Me Vol​.​2 by Liz Frencham

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about

Watching Mal use his loop pedal to create huge soundscapes live onstage at a festival led me to imagining that it would be awesome to capture it live in a studio. I had to find a suitably ridiculous song and this one was waiting in the wings ready, an anthem for anyone who suffers from the innocent repetition of the obvious.

lyrics

I like to think I’m really quite polite
Smiling with perennial delight
But if you want to see me contemplate homicide
Drive me right past Jekyl into Hyde

We’re not all poets, this, I understand
And the obvious is always close at hand
Resist the call, I’ve heard it all a thousand billion times
Hold your breath, think before you use these lines

“Hey, that’s a big guitar!
However do you fit it in your car?
It’s really over-sized you know
You SHOULD have played the piccolo
Why ever would you want to travel far
With such a big guitar?”

Do you really think we haven’t thought it out?
That years of practise masked a secret doubt
Now you can be our guiding light, correct our mistake
And we’ll queue up to throw our basses in the lake.

By now I’m sounding petulant, it’s true
But what’s the harm in thinking these things through?
And if it saves just one poor soul already weighed down
From yet another tiny push towards a total melt down

I’ll shout it from the highest hills, I’ll form my own choir
To sing this solemn vow composed to help control this desire
I’ll Facebook share it night and day, I mean to inspire you all
Twitter, Vimeo, YouTube I swear I won’t tire of it
For if I hear it one more time results could be dire
I’ll finally go barking mad, completely haywire
I’ll pour petrol in your letterbox and set it on fire
I’ll put bricks through all your window panes and slash all your tyres
Then I’ll throttle all your relatives with rusty barbed wire….

If I hear one more…

A spectacle! It’s quite bizarre
You should have played harmonica
Why ever would you want a rig so big, big, big, big
Hey, that’s a massive violin!
However do you get that sucker under your chin?
It’s really freakin’ huge to me
A Sherlock Holmes scale mystery
Why anyone would choose to cart
That giant beast to make a little art
You really can’t be very smart

To play that bulky, hulking, cosmic epic,
King-sized and galactic, astronomic and impractical
Gigantic and gargantuan, enormous, elephantine and
Titanic, vast, voluminously
Mammoth, monstrous, mountainous,
Humungous great colossus of a
Jumbo-jet-sized, whopping, great guitar.

credits

from You & Me Vol​.​2, released January 10, 2015
Written by Elisabeth Frencham
Double Bass and Voice - Liz Frencham
Voice, Trumpet, Trombone, Loop Pedal - Mal Webb

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about

Liz Frencham Trentham, Australia

Liz studied Jazz performance at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music & has been working full time as a musician for over ten years. She is an experienced multi-genre session double-bassist & vocalist who has become an audience favourite on the music festival circuit in Australia with acts like Frencham Smith, Jigzag, Devlish Mary, Red Juliet & Jimmy the Fish. ... more

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